Sunday, December 11, 2016

fifty reasons to be alive

1. fresh baked cookies; the kind your mom used to make in the fall when you got home from school

2. good books; the kind that you read and fall in love with the characters

3. sunrise & sunset; those moments when you look out at the world and you feel alive but also completely aware of how insignificant you are in the billions of humans on this planet

4. cuddling; wrapping your arms around someone's waist and feeling their warmth melt into you

5. dogs; those fluffy little puppers that you just can't help but squeeze their faces and bury your head in their fur

6. holding hands; finding that hand that fits so perfectly against yours

7. laughing; genuinely, loudly, and unconstrained

8. connecting with someone for the first time; you look at them and you can just physically feel the moment you understand each other

9. rain; cold and heavy falling from dark grey clouds above but it somehow makes you smile

10. the smell of freshly mown grass; stepping outside on a hot summer day and that crisp scent brings back childhood memories of swimming with your neighbors

11. comfy sweaters; those certain sweaters that just swallow you in comfort and the feeling of home

12. waterfalls; the clear & fresh water hitting the rocks and making that satisfying sound you never forget

13. looking into people's eyes; you notice there are actually specks of gold where you thought their eyes were just mocha brown

14. music; when you can feel the beat in you spirit and soul, connecting with the words and sounds of another person's heart

15. freshly washed clothes; that smell and the warmth of the clothes as soon as they come out of the dryer

16. french fries; crispy, crunchy, salty, perfect fries that just make you curl your toes

17. friends; new or old friends that you can talk with for hours without feeling bored

18. days you can sleep in; waking up past noon and stretching your toes out at the end of your bed, feeling the sun on your face

19. hot chocolate; that thick sweet drink that brings warmth to the tips of your fingers even when you're ice cold

20. collecting seashells; finding the one you've been searching for, the perfect shell to truly complete your collection

21. beanies; it's a sweater for your head, it's perfect

22. cozy socks; that pair that has little cupcakes on it that you just love so much and you have to wear when you're having a lazy day

23. art; the art that you can see with new eyes, that you can really understand for the first time

24. inside jokes; saying those few words and making your friends and only your friends laugh

25. netflix; piling blankets on your bed and preparing a days worth of popcorn just to binge watch that show you love so much

26. iced tea; made exactly how you like, with or without sugar

27. being in love; feeling on top of the world when you're with them, like nothing can stop you

28. movie night; gathering your friends & family to watch those movies you love so much with snacks and pillows and everything you want

29. cute girls & boys; just seeing someone that brightens your day because they make you smile and blush

30. surprising someone; the look on their face that will forever be imprinted in your memory

31. ice cold water; taking a big gulp on a hot summer afternoon while sitting your kitchen

32. second chances; hearing the words you've been wanting to hear and being held because you have 
another chance

33. forehead & cheek kisses; the cold lips pressed against your warm forehead or cheek when you least expect it and you can't help but grin

34. feeling wind on your face; standing outside on a cool day and facing the breeze, letting the cold air rush into your eyes

35. finding exactly what you're looking for; taking one look at it and knowing you're satisfied

36. feeling beautiful; gazing in mirror and knowing you can do anything because you are you

37. stepping on fallen leaves; the crunch and rustle as you drag your feet along the sidewalk

38. hugs from behind; the arms wrapped around your waist in surprise and a head resting on top of yours

39. flower petals; the velvety feel against the pads of your fingers

40. getting somewhere on time; opening the door and knowing you've arrived at the perfect moment

41. down comforters; wrapping yourself like a burrito in the cool soft blanket that lays on the end of your bed all year long

42. breaking in a pair of brand new shoes; getting that perfect pair and putting them on for the first time to wear outside of you house

43. sunshine; the warm light hitting your face, breathing in the air

44. a cold drink on a hot day; feeling the rush of the cool liquid go down your throat and into your stomach

45. seeing old friends; that initial shock and then the memories of the past come rushing into your head

46. reminiscing; thinking about the moments you will never forgot

47. taking a shower; feeling cool or warm water running down you unprotected skin, fresh and clean

48. exercising; the rush of energy

49. finishing something you've worked on for so long; the moment you're done you feel that weight lifted off of your chest

50. stargazing; taking in the endless lights in the sky, realizing how big the universe really is

a stranger

a stranger

I have people, just like you, who care about me. They care if I'm happy, sad, or depressed. The part that makes me so strange is that they think they know me.
They're wrong.
I've grown to be a person who hides who I really am. I hide it behind fake smiles, laughter, and a curtain of hair across my face. I never say what I really think. No one really knows a single thing about me.
No one knows that every time I enter a room, I look for a place to sit that I can see every other person in the room.
No one knows that when someone approaches me to start a conversation my heart starts to pound and I feel dizzy.
No one knows that when someone brushes against me I start to shake and tremble.
No one knows that when I am called on to speak I've already thought through what I'm going to say at least three times before I open my mouth.
No one knows that I don't always have the right answer because when I do occasionally say something, I'm correct. 
No one knows that there isn't a single moment in my life that I'm not analyzing everything you say to me. 
No one knows that I spend hours laying in my bed because I have no motivation to do anything but that. 
No one knows that I haven't felt truly happy in so long I can't remember what it feels like.
No one knows that I can't stand being around people for more than a few hours at a time.
No one knows that there isn't a person on this planet that I can tell anything and everything that goes through my mind.
No one knows that behind my sarcasm, I really do care.
I wonder, will anyone ever really know me?

-a stranger

i am

1. not known or familiar. 
"she has an unknown mind"
synonyms: uncertain, secret, strange, hidden

1. a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not familiar.
"don't talk to strangers"
synonyms: newcomer, outsider, visitor